We were told terrible news. Terrible is only terrible from our point of view, but it may have a completely different meaning from the other side. However, I am sure that my opinion will not be accepted.
It seems that the person who did to me one of the top three scariest things in my life is coming back to my neighborhood. I don't think I can even think of a countermeasure anymore. All I can do is keep track of what's going on. It is difficult to bother anyone or ask for help. I don't even want to be listened to.
I think I'm at my limit. The countdown has begun. My heart is breaking, and I don't have much time left until October.
There are not many routes left. I've been living slowly since the day seven years ago when I thought the rest of my life would be a bonus.
I can't find a route. Maybe not anymore.
Maybe I'm done with the freebies.
I have cherished being alive. I have told the people I care about that they are important. Even if I could not tell them, I have lived my life with my feelings. That is to say, I have been a terribly cruel person who has not shown a shred of kindness to those who are not important to me. I am grateful to those who have been involved. I will give my utmost love for the next two months to the people I have cared about in real life. It has been a life of good things and bad things. I have tried to value my own feelings. I have lived my life trying to respect the feelings of my loved ones as much as possible. There is no route. I can't find it.
And I don't want to do it anymore. I really don't want to be a part of this anymore, and I don't want to think about it. I'm tired. I'm really tired. I'm fed up. Maybe it's a good time.
What should I prepare?
I could not return anything to you. I am sorry. Thank you for your concern.
You will always be a very special person to me. I don't want you to be well or happy. I can only imagine a future where you live freely and peacefully. I hope someone will be kind to me.
